Naomi's poem: Fatal Temptation

The following is a contribution to our EPC "Story Contest". Please visit our "contributor info" (link). "recent stories" (link). and "story index" (link).

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The Euthanasia Prevention Coalition is not a religious organization. Naomi submitted her poem and we accepted it for publishing. All formats are welcome.

Fatal Temptation

By Naomi Jane Haw

Many times, at the bleak barricade of depression,

Looking down the endless, echoing tunnel

That seems to be my life.

Many times, if there had been a pill or injection

To remove me from that seemingly senseless suffering,

I would have taken it.

If euthanasia is allowed for the terminally ill,

I could argue that my endlessly repeating battles with depression

Represent a similar depth of pain and suffering that will continue to haunt me.

Many times I have wanted to walk the path

To a peaceful, painless, blameless, endless sleep.

AND YET

I am a Christian and I truly believe God when He declares:

“I know the plans I have for you,

 plans for welfare and not for calamity,

 to give you a hope and a future.”  (Jer. 29:11 NLT)

I can also see the Devil’s deviant, defiant schemes.

I truly believe that “You must not murder”,   (Deut. 5:17 NLT) 

And euthanasia is killing humans.

In other words- murder.

And yet, if the path to euthanasia was opened up,

I would be tempted to kill (myself), to be killed;

Anything to escape the torture of untreatable depression.

But it would be wrong.

I could be slipping into an endless torment of separation

From God, my family and friends.

You may think of death (from euthanasia) as a sweet oblivion,

An endless, dreamless sleep.

But you may be wrong!

It may be a trick and a lie from the Devil.

No-one has ever returned to tell us about this unending death.

It could be a terrible, fatal beginning,

More painful and terrifying than the hardest fight against illness.

Medically assisted suicide

Would mean depriving my family of a wife, a mother, a daughter.

And though there are many times

When I have no success in playing the roles assigned to me,

Times when I no longer want to be me…

Still I believe that:

A hopeless, helpless wife is better than no wife for my husband,

A failing mother is better than no mother for my children,

An emotionally distant daughter is better than no daughter for my parents.

And I think they would agree.

God created me, with all my talents and in all my weakness.

And God allows the Devil To hunt me and haunt me with depression.

I don’t understand why.

I may never understand why,

But I choose to believe in the value that God places on my life.

“You keep track of all my sorrows.

 You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

 You have recorded each one in your book”  (Psalm 56:8 NLT)

I choose to believe God when He says:

“I created all the delicate, inner parts of your body

 and knit you together in your mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13 NLT)

And also when He declares that, in the end:

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,

 and death will not exist anymore -

 or mourning, or crying, or pain,

 for the former things have ceased to exist” (Rev 21:4 NLT)

In essence, what I’m saying

Is that the lure of an endless, dreamless sleep May be a trick and a lie,

May, in fact, be a nightmare of torment,

And could well prove to be

Not just a final extinction

But a fatal temptation.

Written by Naomi Jane Haw