Executive Director, Euthanasia Prevention Coalition
The family visited their father on a daily basis and regularly assisted him to eat. It is not uncommon for people with dementia to need assistance with eating. When the COVID-19 crisis broke out, the nursing home stopped allowing people to visit.
Because the family was unable to visit, no one helped their father to eat. There may have been some nurses at some time who encouraged him to eat, but he lost 35 pounds. I consider this a form of elder abuse.
As he was approaching death the nursing home staff convinced the power of attorney that they should give him morphine for discomfort and withdraw fluids. Her father died 6 days later of dehydration.
To help protect you from a similar situation you need to purchase the Life-Protecting Power of Attorney for Personal Care from Euthanasia Prevention Coalition. This document stipulates that you want nutrition, hydration and beneficial treatment or care. (Link).
This was a different type of COVID-19 death.
The recent military report on nursing home abuse in Ontario confirms the truth of what the community living movement believes, that it is essential for all human beings to have equality and inclusion in society. Institutionalizing people with disabilities or the elderly leads to exclusion and discrimination and eventual abandonment.
This was a different type of COVID-19 death.
I recently wrote an article titled: Rethinking nursing homes. Supporting community based care. I completely understand that caring for someone with dementia is difficult, but with home care support, it is possible that this woman's father could have been cared for at home.
The report of the Canadian Parliamentary Committee on Palliative and Compassionate Care that was published in November 2011, recommendation XV on page 52, concerning Palliative and End-of-Life care states:
We need to stop building institutional care that requires people to fit into a model of care that does not provide the options that they want or need and does so in a restrictive manner.
Canada needs models of compassionate community care. A model that enables care for people in their home and community that doesn't segregate people and provides them with the respect and dignity that they deserve.
Home care, provided by the family with assistance from the government, could have provided for the needs of this man and enabled him to live in a caring, loving and nourishing environment.
Home care is foundational to transforming Canada’s health care system. In reality it is a paradigm shift in our vision of health care. Allowing patients to stay at home has pronounced benefits for everyone involved, not least of which, the person being cared for in their own home and community. This is important as our nation seeks ways to improve the care of the elderly and vulnerable.I believe in the philosophy of the community living movement and I recognize that the needs of people with disabilities can be similar to the needs of the elderly.
We need to stop building institutional care that requires people to fit into a model of care that does not provide the options that they want or need and does so in a restrictive manner.
Canada needs models of compassionate community care. A model that enables care for people in their home and community that doesn't segregate people and provides them with the respect and dignity that they deserve.
Home care, provided by the family with assistance from the government, could have provided for the needs of this man and enabled him to live in a caring, loving and nourishing environment.
The culture needs to care for its citizens, not kill.
13 comments:
The basics of nursing is to feed people who cant feed themselves, and wash them.If that's not been done these homes should not be allowed to call themselves Nursing Homes. Its against the law to starve an animal and deprive them of water.A person unable to eat without assistance is now regarded as a non person, the same status as a preborn infant.
Having worked as a social worker and having my mother in the facility I worked at, I have mixed emotions about all this. My mother, at the end, refused to eat. She clamped her mouth shut and I could not even encourage her to eat. Yes, the family wasn’t there and couldn’t see how hard staff tried to feed him. I’ve seen many residents be like a little child or bird and open their mouth readily when a spoon was offered, but there’s been many who, like my mom, just didn’t want to be bothered anymore. You can’t force feed a person. As far as dehydration, an IV can be put in and often, because the resident just doesn’t understand, they pull them out. They may be deemed incompetent to make decisions, but they are making a decision, ie I don’t like the feeling of what they are doing to me and I am going to rectify it whether they like it or not. My mom loved the Lord and I knew her destiny was Heaven. Why prolong it. As far as people dying alone, I worked where she lived and she chose to die at night. She was not showing signs of imminent death or they would have called me. I wish I was there, but I am not going to beat myself up that the angels came to get her at her appointed time to die. It’s horrible losing a parent you love, but death is inevitable. Sometimes the living want to prolong it and it’s not meant to be. I am totally against euthanasia, but I am not against hospice and allowing someone to die a natural death. Regardless of what the staff did, this person’s Dad died at his appointed time.
i AM SO THANKFUL THAT i LIVE AT HOME IN A TRIPLEX AND MY YOUNGEST SON LIVES UPSTAIRS AND TAKES VERY GOOD CARE OF ME. tHANKFULLY i DO NOT HAVE DEMENTIA, BUT i AM GOING BLIND. i KNOW i CAN LIVE IN MY HOME WITH THEIR TENDER LOVING CARE, UNTIL i DRAW MY LAST BREATH. i AM VERY BLESSED INDEED. aLLOWING A PERSON TO DIE OF DEYHYDRATION JUST BECAUSE HE NEEDS EXTRA CARE, IS CRIMINAL! jONI bUND 88 YEARS YOUNG
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COMMENT? i AM 88 YEARS OLD WITH ADVANCED MACULAR DEGENERATION AND NEED SOME CARE WHICH IS PROVIDED BY MY YOUNGEST SON WHO LIVES UPSTAIRS WITH HIS FAMILY. hE TAKES VERY GOOD CARE OF ME BUT DOES NOT NEED TO PHYSICALLY FEED ME AT THIS POINT. hE MAKES SURE i ALWAYS HAVE SUFFICIENT FOOD AND SUPPORT. hE VISITS ME SEVERAL TIMES A DAY BETWEEN HIS WORK SHIFTS. eVEN WHEN IT COMES TIME TO NEED MORE CARE I KNOW THAT BOB WOULD NEVER LET ME DIE OF DEHYDRATION. IT IS SAD FOR THIS MAN THAT HIS FAMILY WAS NOW NOT ALLOWED ACCESS TO FEED THEIR FATHER AND FOR HIM TO DIE OF DEHYDRATION WAS CRIMINAL ON THE PART OF THAT PARTICULAR NURSING HOME. i AM VERY BLESSED THAT SUCH A THING LIKE THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME.jONI bUND
Thank you Sandmolake for your response. The story was explained clearly, this was not an issue of force feeding or not force feeding, this was an issue of not being able to go into the home to feed him due to the COVID-19 pandemic restrictions. He lost 35 pounds in that time. Whether or not he was refusing to eat, the fact is that he was eating with assistance before the COVID-19 pandemic. This is a very sad but sadly real story.
Sandmolake. Even if the father refused to eat, he should not have been dehydrated to death. The point is not where the person is going after death, although, as a Christian, that is the most important thing to know. You can't say the father died at the "appointed time "either when clearly he died from neglect & the PLAN-demic rules that left this father without his family at a most critical time in his life. A PLAN-demic that set out to destroy many lives, targeting the elderly for sure. There are many that are culpable in this case, & in other cases of those who died alone.
Dear Joni:
I published your comments twice. Your comments are important.
Dear Sandmolake:
I feel for you that your mother refused the necessaries of life. If her thinking was as you mention "why prolong it?" that is unfortunate and sad - and it's a fine thing that you pray for her soul which would certainly be spending some time in Purgatory for that question. For indeed, the "why"let someone kindly feed you is for the sake of two things: the relationship itself, and for the radical sanctity of our lives before God who made us in his image and redeemed us by his sacred blood. Perhaps in your ratiocinations to process your grief you came to the resignation that "regardless of what the staff did, [someone] died at the appointed time." - a statement that sets aside all circumstances and intents. But just because God foresees how and when anyone will die, including by random murder, does not make that death "appointed." In the case of the story reported, of a demented father being very deliberately dehydrated to death, the "divine appointment" - if you want to call it that - was an appointment for his caregivers with God through this man: God who was inviting their consciences, though they failed to make the appointment. Imagine how the man's heart was breaking when he realized he could not call for water but could only sedate himself to death.
I have seen your phraseology before, which suggests to me you got it from a health-care practitioner inured of death and dying. The mother of a dear friend, who was admitted to hospital for therapy on a heart condition, there developed a sinus infection. She was not given antibiotic treatment on the trumped-up claim that her kidneys wouldn't likely clear the drug (so maybe she'd die of renal failure or blood pressure spikes), and that it would be 'too stressful for her to be moved to a hospital with available dialysis equipment. And so "in her best interest" she was left to die of septisemia and pericarditis from the untreated infection. The attending doctor who confirmed her death said to those in the room "there's no cheating death". There's that "appointment" language that shuts all consciences. It is just a self-fulfilling prophecy or worse: a tautology with no meaning about what should have been done for this much beloved lady.
That said, as for your mother, it's clear that no-one else was forcing her to an "appointment with death." Again therefore I will add my prayers to yours for the rest of her soul. Sometimes we come to a realization that a departed soul is at peace precisely because they have completed the relenting for a wrongful thought or action. That completion can be assisted by our prayers.
Marky Makway: Just a simple statement that the God that I serve who wrote the Holy Bible is all powerful and all knowing. Nothing happens that He is not aware of. He knows exactly when each person will die whether by His will or man’s hands.
geardoid: I am sure my mother’s faculties were not clear thinking, but I also know the Holy Spirit dwelt in her. How she longed to be with her Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ was evident the last time I saw her take communion. The pastor prayed and she had tears rolling down her face. She loved the Lord. Paul, in the Bible, knew he was on earth to serve the Lord, but longed to be with his Savior as well. As far as any guilt, I feel none. The Lord Jesus has paid the penalty for all my sins. I have asked forgiveness for them and there is no reason to feel guilty. He has cast them away and He’s not looking at them. Why should I? Also, not sure what Bible you read, but there is no purgatory. The thief on the cross who recognize Jesus as his savior, was told by Jesus Himself that he would be with Him in paradise/Heaven. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him will have everlasting life.” That eternal life starts the minute you accept Jesus as your personal Savior and there is always the longing that you want to see Him whenever He is ready to see you. I don’t have a death wish, neither did my mom, but I do look forward to Heaven and eternity with Him. I pray that you will have that blessed assurance as well. I definitely don’t need to pray for my Mom’s soul. She is already in Heaven praising the Lord and I will see her again.
Sandmolake, I will not gainsay your moving faith as a Christian, which is a fine testament in itself. I'm sure that by now with all the love you bear in your mother's memory, she is either in heaven or well on the way through purgatory. And I was not in the least suggesting you should experience guilt. As for the repentant thief, he was given the special blessing of paying all his Purgatory right there on the cross. Indeed, so did the company of Marys and John - not even being on a cross physically, but certainly deeply compassionate with the dying Jesus. Most of us still have justice to remit even with sins forgiven: destined for heaven but with a necessary purification stage. This does not take away from Paul's claims that we are saved in the name of Jesus. What we're saved from is the other destiny. Yes, some of us suffer enough purgation on earth to have little or no spiritual purgatory afterwards. But it is anyway right from our roots in the Jewish faith that we always pray for our pre-deceased; and they pray for us. The main point is that we should not be fatalistic to suppose that how someone dies is of no consequence to God. His foreknowing is not fore-approving. That was the point of the original story to which you commented. God bless you and yours.
Totally agree. God does not approve of any sin even though He has foreknowledge that it is going to happen. ALL life is important to God who created that life. God bless you and yours as well.
St. Thomas Aquinas said it best
“The end of Philosophy is not that we may know what men have thought but what the truth of things is”.
Our interpretation of the bible varies, many translations have been made and thus things have been altered over time. Instead of telling one another what will happen when we die (as none of us are clear as to exactly how things been will occur, only God knows). We need to stop arguing over details as christians and focus on living our lives as decent people.
We need to stop telling each other your interpretation of bible is wrong. We can share our ideas, but we should remain respectful of these differences. The only thing we know for sure is that Jesus died for our sins, and that if we believe in him and live our lives as he has asked us to live, we will go to heaven. When we get to Heaven after death is known to God alone. We get so caught up on details that we forget that how we behave is more important.
How we treat our fellow man/woman. What did Jesus say about giving food and drink to the hungry?
Compassion! Compassion! Compassion!
Starving elderly and withholding fluids is cruel, what a horrible way to die. Not very Christian to me.
Starving people, not giving them fluids, leaving them soiled and filthy, not taking them to hospital when they contract Covid 19 is nothing but MURDER! Where are we as a society that we were not out screaming and shouting in the streets demonstrating with the same amount of horror and disgust that we are doing for our black and indigenous brothers and sisters who have died at the hands of police???
These black people are dying at the hands of police, and our elderly have died and are still dying at the hands of owners of these senior homes, politicians, and our failing health care system!
Towards the end wha it’s wrong will be right, what is right will be wrong, left will be right, up will be down. God help us all.
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